06122024

I came to realise earlier tonight that I’ve written a mere seven (now eight) entries over the course of this year to date. It’s been a strange, terribly strange year. I’m palpably getting older now, I can feel it in my bones, my habits.

One of my resolutions for the new year is to return to writing these entries at a regular pace. For a long time I excused my lapses (and now, looking back, one long ever-lapsing Lapse) into delinquency by telling myself that because I wasn’t working, and because this is — well, was at some point in the long distant past — supposed to be a work log, there was no need to record anything. Of course, none of that is true, neither the premise nor the justification. It was because I stopped caring. I watched myself fall short of my own expectations, and then I watched myself fall a bit further just for the hell of it, I guess.

I’d like to re-establish some semblance of structure. I think for now I’ll keep it to at least one entry every week on Friday (although it’s now a few hours into Saturday), with additional entries throughout the week as circumstances may warrant; but eventually I’d like to move back to a daily pace, and concomitantly and more importantly, a daily pace of work as well.

I’ve been feeling more motivated today. I was able to get some work done, and set up a proper working environment finally on all my computers, which means I have no more excuses for not being able to get things done. Sam called as well this afternoon, and it was really nice to be able to catch up. I sent him the draft of the new document, and he seemed to like what he saw, which made me feel a lot better about it, and more inspired to work on it. I’d like to dedicate some time tomorrow to it.