13012023

My leave of absence was officially approved as of yesterday. All that’s left now is to write the update for this month. I’ll finally be able to rest for a while after that.

I’m still feeling pretty good about things. The euphoria has largely passed, but I’m surprised by the realisation that I still feel remarkably clear. I actually feel very consistently optimistic and secure in my feelings about things for once. Not just one or two things either, but… everything, basically. 

Of course, some part of me – a very foundationally-located part of me, to be sure – remains deeply suspect of all of it: of the intentions of others, of the sheer apparent improbability of things to come. But lately I feel like my trust in others has been strengthened to a degree that I don’t think I’ve ever possessed before in my life. To be honest, I actually feel like I’m running out of excuses to convince myself why I should suspect anyone around me at all.