14062021

Minor conflict with the doctor about finances. I say “conflict”, but really, it was entirely one-sided, in my head. It wasn’t even an unreasonable ask, but for some reason it really threw me off and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow as well. It’s not her fault. I don’t know when I’m gonna see her again. I don’t even know if I want to see her again.

In any case, it’s completely fucked up the course of the rest of my day. I’ve been trying to get writing done but there’s no way it’s getting finished at this point, even if I experience such a sudden rush of clarity that I’m able to write continuously for the next twenty-four hours. And I also have to write this month’s update tomorrow as well. Which means I have to produce some content for it…

I’ve been feeling real tired lately. Either I’m angry, or I’m tired. I wish I was capable of feeling other things.