18052019

Spent most of the day in an exaggerated state of unease. I was able to start and finish a BG, which I suppose is a good amount of work, but getting through it was a struggle and I feel like I’ve wasted the day. The weather these past few days has been exceedingly pleasant but other than sitting outside for ten minutes or so during the evening I have no reason to leave my room and consequently I feel like I’m wasting away these days. I’ve been acutely haunted as of late by the horrible realisation that time is truly passing – often, it seems, at imperceptibly elusive speeds – and I can’t help but feel I’m wasting away my youth. Nearly an entire year has passed since I graduated (although honestly, it feels like much longer) and I’ve done absolutely nothing, although I’ve certainly tried to do things. But no matter what I do, I feel irreparably trapped in a state of listlessness.