19012025

Made no progress whatsoever on visuals today despite my best reservations. I got distracted during the day once again. It’s beginning to really mess with my morale. I don’t know why I’m having so much difficulty just starting it, but the more I delay it, the more it starts to bear down on me.

I spent the evening planning out the combat. Right now, it’s really technical (although a lot of it is hidden behind the scenes and, what will hopefully be by release, engaging writing). I really like the implications of it, but I’m not sure how well it’ll pan out to actual implementation. The bottleneck here I think will most certainly be in designing the enemy encounters to accommodate the various tactical considerations and available avenues of action. I’ll keep it on paper for now, and maybe even crunch some numbers soon. (The idea of being able to finally work out some formulae quite excites me.)

There is still, of course, the unaddressed issue of the monthly update. I absolutely do not want to skip this one — both because I had already failed to publish my (admittedly shitty) draft last month, and more importantly, because I feel it is in bad spirit and auguring an ill omen to miss the first update of the new year (which is not so new anymore, I know, but still). I’m leaning way too much on having those finished visuals for it, when in reality, I doubt anyone cares. How even could they, after all, since the project itself has not even been formally announced?

I’m trapping myself here, I know. I need to get over my own baseless anxieties. But I just feel like I have so little to show for myself these days. So little to justify my continued persistence in these manners, at least externally. I don’t know. Maybe it’ll come to me tomorrow. I doubt it, but maybe.