22092023

Forced myself to take a break from working over the weekend on account of my birthday, but it’s almost immediately proved to be a terrible idea. I slipped back into an obsessive, depressed anger basically as soon as I woke up after submitting the build, and it’s only gotten worse in the hours since. I just can’t seem to shake this feeling, it always comes back seemingly worse than before. I just want it gone. All of it, all of the memories, the feelings, the pain. All I can think about is killing. I get physically nauseous at the slightest thought of her. I can’t seem to do anything except recoil and writhe uselessly from these wretched wounds. I feel like my life has been fucking cursed.