31052020

It’s getting harder and harder to focus on my work; every minute, without exaggeration, I feel inflamed by a spike of anger and restlessness, the desire to get up and do something, to hit someone. I wasn’t even able to write a single full sentence all of today. It’s already June by the time I’m writing this, and the progress on the outpost is not anywhere close to where it should be by now… I think I’m finally beginning to feel a sense of urgency (and the concomitant anxiety) that I’ve fallen behind. I feel like I need to take a break: an actual break, not one in which I’m just sitting around waiting for the bad feelings to pass so that I can work again. I also feel like I’m running out of time though for some reason.