12072019

I was able to recover a bit from my malaise today: I got some work done on the graphic assets for CH09, and so long as I can maintain this pace of progress I believe I’m in a position where I’ll be able to release something tomorrow. We’ll see if this persists, though.

(I doubt it.)

I’ve been troubled by dark thoughts again lately. I’m not quite sure what the impetus is for their return: maybe I’ve been spending too much time alone. Maybe it’s because all my income has once again dried up and I can feel my worth receding rapidly by the day. I don’t know. But every morning, I wake up with hatred and disgust in my heart. I can feel my thoughts growing more erratic, and on more than one occasion I have felt seized by bouts of paranoia regarding the presence of observers where realistically I understand there shouldn’t be any. My dreams have become haunted once again by strange and malevolent notions.

Thankfully, I’m an incredibly lazy and unmotivated human being and therefore I’m pretty confident these things won’t unravel into any larger plots or actions. The one undeniably positive side effect of all this is that I feel much more in tune with my work now.