16072025

A quiet sense of disconsolate dread. I’ve been feeling a terrible sense of loneliness and uselessness lately. I’ve stopped making much of an effort to go out and do things: the lot of it feels empty, and misguided, although I know it isn’t. “Drained” is a better word. No energy or motivation to do anything. I don’t feel like I’m capable of doing anything anymore. Calcified in place. I hope things will get a bit better, at least for a little bit, in Lisbon. Maybe the change in scenery and pace of life will help shake things loose. I hope so. I really hope so.