24092025

Another year on this earth. This one has not at all gone as I had either expected or planned, but in a strange, sad way, I think I’m really happy it didn’t. I feel much calmer these days, more at peace. More forgiving and more importantly, more convinced than ever in my desire to forgive. I’ve begun to realise the true scale of the beauty and catastrophe within myself, within those around me. I feel surer in who I am and the things I truly value. It’s like a light has just been cutting through me, burning away the darkness that clouded my eyes before. I read somewhere once that love is not consolation, but light. I don’t know how to make sense of that, even as it tears its way through me, the assumption of me. A brightness that was always there, dwelling in the darkness. I don’t understand it. There are some days where I feel so overwhelmed that I want to cry. Not out of sadness, or pain, or even joy, but the sheer fucking sensation of all of it, all at once. I feel ready to face what’s to come. I feel ready to place faith in it again. The ongoingness of it, all of it.