20052021

Spent the morning applying mulch with my brother. We then went out for a long walk. It was real nice. It filled me with a light, pleasant feeling for a while.

I’ve been feeling pretty off though in general. A pervasive sense of melancholy. This shadow of doom, like the feeling of being trapped. By what, I have no idea. But all of a sudden I feel this weight upon me. Not around my ankle like before, dragging me down, you know… but like it’s pressing down upon me, it has been pressing down on me for a long time, but now I’ve finally started to notice it. I don’t know what to do with it. It makes me feel ashamed of who I am. What I am.