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Yesterday’s post was a bit pessimistic in hindsight. I’m still technically “on break” but looking back at my output these past few days, I’ve actually gotten quite a bit done in areas that I usually neglect because of work. 

Over the weekend I managed to finally get that essay written and released that I’ve been putting off for almost an entire year now; and yesterday I was able to sit down and write a new song, the first one I’ve written in almost an entire month. I think it’s honestly the best song I’ve written to date, although it’s also probably the most pathetic one in terms of subject matter (I hope she never listens to it, although I find it difficult to imagine any circumstances in which she’d somehow stumble across it by happenstance.) I quite like the essay as well, it’s certainly better and more interesting than whatever stupid shit I wrote last time. At the very least, I think it turned out about 70% the way I hoped it would, which, given the way I write, is a good enough percentage most days. 

I think I’m too hard on myself when it comes to work. Well, maybe other things as well. But work especially is where I feel it the most, and most often. Some days the pressure is good and helps to motivate me to get things done. But most days – especially these days – it just wears me out and leaves me feeling even worse about everything.