01092020

Last night I had a rather vivid and unsettling dream in which I got into a physical altercation with a woman whom I didn’t recognise but who claimed I’d stolen something from her, and ended up accidentally killing her in the process after hitting her in the head several times with a drilling hammer. I found myself in a place that resembled my house, except it was dimly lit and the hallways seemed to go on forever, leading to rooms that I didn’t recognise. Everywhere I went I was confronted with people from my life – old friends, current ones, acquaintances, authorities, even some strangers I must’ve seen at some point in passing – who each showed me some wretched, shameful thing I’ve did. There were so many of them that no matter which direction I turned I saw at least one of them, although the house appeared empty if I didn’t fix my gaze. I couldn’t find a way out even when I found myself at the front door; when I looked out the windows, the sky was overcast and the clouds seemed to move by at unnatural speeds. I was certain that if even if I had been able to escape I would’ve found that the other houses were just two-dimensional facades, and that at the end of my street was the end of the world. I’ve had this dream many times before throughout my life, from as early as when I was in middle school even. I don’t know why I’m having it again now. There was no escape from that horrible grey place. The simultaneous claustrophobia and emptiness of it all.

I worked today on a new structure to the north. I was able to successfully finish the exterior elements, at least of the structure itself, although the surrounding flora still could probably use some more work. That entire section of the map is a mess right now in terms of the order and placement of rooms; I really need to figure out the organisation soon and get it together. I’d like to be done with that entire half of the map by the end of this month – and hopefully with the relevant plot stuff as well by mid-October at latest. We’ll see about that though…