Checking out early tonight. I spent some time today proofreading and polishing the various public pages and uploaded the trailer everywhere it needs to be seen, but that was pretty light work all things considered and I was effectively done by noon. My work for the year is done and I’m taking the next few days off until launch. I’ll be in the city until probably the first or second, meaning my posts here will most likely be sporadic although I will try to make one for New Year’s Eve reflecting on my progress this year, and my thoughts moving into next. 

On a slightly tangential note, ever since my PlayStation Plus subscription expired a week or two ago my overall interest in playing games has noticeably receded even further and now that I’ve finished my work, the amount of downtime has become physically palpable. I decided today to attempt to start reading again – I haven’t read a book in over a year, I’ve now come to realise – and made some progress with Book 6 of Knausgaard’s My Struggle. His work overall is really quite moving and reminds me in many ways of what I enjoy most about Joyce’s stuff. I’m a much slower and less attentive reader now than I was even just a year ago, I’ve come to realise with some ambivalence, but honestly maybe that’s better in some sense – or at the very least, indicative of some kind of positive internal change. Well, at least I hope that much. In all likelihood though it’s probably a sign of nothing more or less than the fact that I just haven’t read anything of considerable weight in over a year since rather dramatically renouncing any and all interest in theory or literature and in doing so probably sacrificing the one thing which has afforded me some clout over others all these years. In any case, I now know it wasn’t worth it. 

Finally finished the trailer today. It’s about as good as it’ll ever get for now under my control, anyways. Currently uploading it to all the relevant places: it feels good to be done with it. I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety about the release, honestly, but it really peaked tonight after a remarkably petty coincidence (or maybe not so much of a coincidence, but more truthfully, a consciously escalated series of ill-advised choices). I’m feeling okay now, I think, but it really hit me and caught me off-guard.

I spent some time with Aurora this evening. We talked a lot about sentimentality and sentimental things, which I suppose is apropos to the time of year – and to the fact that in two days (well, less now, actually) she’s leaving for another city, first for a few months in a sublet and then maybe for good. Her residency’s in the spring, which means next I’ll see her will be, at earliest, some time around May or so, more likely in the summer… Well, whatever happens, I hope she’ll be okay, and that she’ll find what she’s looking for out there – and that it’ll be good for her when she does.