Good Friday. Just got back home today. Went to see some old friends. My entire body feels beat. Maybe they’re right, after all. Not so young anymore, after all.
I’ve gotta get this month’s update written and published tomorrow. Shouldn’t be too difficult on its own, just a matter of getting it done. Because I’ve been out these past two days, I’m planning on working over the weekend instead. There’s more to write about but it’d be best to save it until tomorrow.
I’ve been making slow, but steady progress on the boot sequence. I was able to get everything up until the login section fully functional (with the exception of being able to set the system config, and terminate the game at the boot menu). The work is not difficult by any means, and I find myself actually quite enjoying it. I’ve just been spending a lot of time this past week or so, maybe a bit longer, on non-work-related tasks. For the first time in a while (although I guess I always say that, because my memory of good thing is short), I feel like my life is not so bad, and is actually quite pleasant. I think Ada would be pleased to hear that. I’ve been spending more time with my friends. Maybe it’s just because the weather is getting nicer. Regardless of the reason, though, I find solace in being able to appreciate the fact that I can still feel these kinds of things – neither ecstatic, nor tragic, nor revelatory, but simply pleasant – after all.
Back to work.
I spent all of today working on the graphic assets for the bootup sequence. it took a bit longer than I predicted, but I think it’ll be worth it: it looks pretty interesting, and will certainly help to set the tone of the game. I’m in the process of implementing it now: the password check, specifically. Once this part is done, the CPBE itself shouldn’t be too much of an issue. I also need to figure out a way to intuitively write control prompts, which will be the most difficult part…
I hope to be able to get the system tutorial + CPBE fully implemented into a build by Tuesday. The timing’s gonna be a bit rough, but I think I can do it.
Solid progress today, I’m pretty pleased with the amount of work I was able to accomplish. I managed to implement all the necessary components in the opening area, including a few bonuses like an animation for interacting with Rebekah’s cairn, and a staggered prompt which allows the player to have different sequential interactions with the cairn. (It’s a very simple “system”, that I’ll most likely start using much more from here on out.)
I also made a few general optimisations, including condensing a lot of the loose FSM scripts into a single master script containing all of the individual functions, which has reduced the visual clutter of the script tree; as well as compressing a number of the ambient tracks, resulting in a significantly lower file size.
A bit of a slow day, although I’m satisfied with today’s work overall. I worked on finishing up the remaining item descriptions within the outpost, and imposing the proper restrictions on when they’re available to view based on Avery’s location. I was also able to implement a somewhat-interesting feature that allows the player to view the outpost’s system clock while indoors, which saves me some time from having to work on the security camera footage as a means of checking the time outside for right now.
I’ve come to realise that there’s a lot of work left in the tutorial which I failed to account for. All sorts of systems that need to be introduced to the player. I’ve created a new document with a list of all the things that need to be taken into mind, as well as a revised timeline that spaces the more complex functions out and gives the player a bit of agency in between learning new systems.
I don’t think it’ll be difficult work, but it certainly pushes the schedule a bit. Mostly, that’s my own fault for procrastinating so pointlessly last month. But in a way, I feel like it’s given me room to figure things out and approach them more carefully, which is why I was able to determine that my previous outline had been insufficient in the first place. I dunno. I feel okay about the pacing, but I’ll have to talk to my producer about it. I’m sure they’ll be expecting a build soon as well… I’m not sure what I’m going to send in yet, but worst-case scenario, I’ll just package what I have now as is and send it in tomorrow.
I’ve been feeling pretty out of it this past week. But the worst part of it is that I don’t even mean that in a bad way: what I am “out of” is the familiar thrum of my usual malaise, and instead I’ve been possessed by something that, if I were more naive, I might have confused for happiness. It feels like a vigorous, thrashing mode of joyousness, not entirely distinct in some moments from outright mania. It almost feels as if I’ve fallen in love, this dizzying, hurtling sensation; although lacking an obvious subject, I’ve simply found myself tumbling headlong through the darkness of my own interiority, fumbling uselessly for a semblance of direction. I have no idea how this came about. What caused it, or when it even started. The abject loneliness of my work has become apparent to me in the midst of all this.
Completely rebuilt the object inspection framework to draw item descriptions and names from a CSV file, rather than being hardcoded into macros. The actual in-game behaviour when inspecting objects has been changed as well: previously, simply hovering over the object would immediately display the text in the lower letterbox, which would dynamically adjust its height to accommodate the length of the text.
However, this approach inherently limited the amount of text that could be displayed by the height of the letterbox itself, which also meant that more text had to be squeezed in by reducing the font size. This made legibility difficult for longer passages.
Objects now display a prompt when hovered over (ie “Examine box”), and now require the item to be clicked on in order to open up a popup box which fills the screen. This allows for a lot more text to be displayed at once with a larger and more legible typeface, as well as being a lot more accommodating to paragraph breaks. I think this approach is a lot better, and it also forces people to move through and look at the environment more slowly and conscientiously. I might repurpose the old system for something else, maybe have it display special messages specifically when hovering over Avery herself. We’ll see.
I’ve also changed the primary font to Monofonto, from Fixedsys. It’s a lot more visually appealing and easy-to-read for general usage. However, I have changed the way that fonts are loaded so that switching between them should be fairly effortless, and will likely be built into a menu option somewhere down the line. Combined with the aforementioned change to the observation prompts, this opens up the possibility of adopting accessibility-specific typefaces like OpenDyslexic.
More productive this weekend. Implemented a “dynamic” sky. There’s a special sunset one for the introduction section, and another generic one for the rest of the game. I’ll probably end up creating at least one more.
I’ve also made some significant revisions (I would consider them improvements) upon the opening section. It features a much more extensive onboarding section via the CPBE interface, which helps the player get acquainted with the texture of the game. I’ve also, per the excellent suggestion of my producer, moved the game’s start to take place at sunset, rather than early morning. It puts a lot more natural incentive upon the player to get back to the outpost in an expedient manner, by sensibly limiting the player’s interactions and movements to the amount of visible daylight.
At this rate of progress, I might actually be able to get this month’s work done on time!
I’ve been trying to work on the tutorial. Something’s just been crushing me. Constantly filling my head with garbage signals. Haven’t been able to work on anything that requires any degree of conscious thought in days. Probably longer than that, to be honest. I got one more week to catch up on what feels like an entire month’s worth of wasted time. My emotions have become an active annoyance. This constant, ambient buzz. Like a psychic mosquito. Makes it impossible to focus on anything to begin with, let alone stay focused. I wish I could reach inside my skull and tear out the infected lobes. Inflamed with confusion and petty longing. Conspiring against my better nature.
It’s been a strange week. I didn’t realise so much time had passed since my last entry. My sense of time has been completely thrown off. It feels like I’ve spent more time this past week asleep or on the edge of exhaustion than actually awake and conscious of my actions. I can barely manage the energy to sit upright at my desk, let alone to work, or even just recount the day’s progress (or lack thereof). I’ve fallen behind schedule. These next several days until the end of the month are gonna be hell, I think. I can probably get things done on time if I work on an accelerated pace, but it’s gonna take me out for at least the entire first week of next month. Maybe it’s a price worth paying. I don’t know. It’s all catching up to me at once, it feels like. The consequences of how I’ve been living these past few years. All at once.
Made a lot of progress these past few days. Too much to really properly account for, but broadly, I’ve made a few new interfaces, recorded the first transmission as well as the general baseline frequencies, and started work on the new area, both visually and in terms of the soundscape. By the end of this weekend, I’d like to get the sensors completely implemented with proper audio.
Feeling a bit more clear-headed today. The past few nights, I’ve been troubled by a series of intensely vivid and melancholic dreams, whose sobering effects linger long past the hour of waking. They’re the kinds of dreams which I suspect, were I still capable of crying, might move me to the verge of tears should I reflect too intensely upon their meaning or nature.
Ironically, it seems to be precisely this effect which has managed to finally shake me out of the stupour which has seized my progress this past week (and probably longer, upon reflection). I’ve been making progress, slowly but surely, on the visual assets for the new sensor types. With my head more or less completely voided of the dark noise which previously wrought havoc upon my attention, I feel I’ve gained a much clearer insight into what I’m trying to do with this project at this current moment, and how to go about doing it. I think tomorrow’s meeting will be productive.
Minor progress today. Started working on the sprites for the small variant of the microphone. I’m not sure if I’m going to include the larger variant, but for now it remains an option. I’ve come to realise that I may not actually need as many variants of sensors in terms of the breadth of diversity; but rather, I may benefit more from building a few (perhaps three, maybe even four base models) and then iterating upon them with variations based on things like damage levels. I’ll discuss it with production this week. I’d like to have all the spritework done by the end of tomorrow so I begin implementing later.
Plans for the weekend ended up completely falling through, due to factors both within and outside of my control. (Although, admittedly, mostly the former.) I have a creeping suspicion that my life has taken a turn for the worse, although the most troubling part is that I don’t think I’m all too concerned about it on a moment-to-moment basis. Outside of work, it feels like things are starting to slip away from me, one by one. Like the world’s getting smaller and smaller by the day.
Finally managed to get something done. Started working on the field antenna. I think I’m going to add in the ability to upgrade its effectiveness with the attenuator. Fortunately the additional sprite-work necessary for that is very easy to accommodate. I won’t be able to have the functionality implemented by tomorrow, but maybe by the end of the weekend, with a placeholder for the tuning signal.
To no one’s surprise, perhaps, I got nothing done today, either. I fell asleep almost immediately after writing yesterday’s post and experienced a series of deeply troubling and troubled dreams, before awaking nearly eighteen hours later in a stupour. I don’t really have much to say for myself, other than that I hope tomorrow will go a bit better.
New month. Had session today. I don’t feel like I’m getting as much out of them as I was before, although I’m not sure why. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem in the long run, but it’s definitely something I would like to address moving forward. I just don’t know how yet.
I was supposed to get started today on the new task list but I didn’t do anything. Going to have to get that sorted out tomorrow. I just need to get something done, to build up the initial momentum. Need to correct my sleep schedule too.
Another productive meeting. Was able to arrive at a tentative schedule for the rest of development, although it turns out there was a typo that somehow got overlooked by both parties in the contract regarding a date for delivery, so that’ll have to be revised and resigned at some point hopefully soon.
I spent the rest of the day drafting a task list for the next several months. I have a pretty good idea of my priorities moving forward, as well as the pacing of content to be created, which was something I’ve been struggling a lot with these past few months. With the arrival of March, my progress from here on should be certain, and fixed firmly within something material.
Had a strange session today. Came away from it feeling vaguely troubled, although not necessarily in a bad way. I think I just need more time to figure some things out. I think I need to take a break. An actual one this time. Get my head straight and all that.
Somehow there’s only one week left in the month. Been feeling real disoriented these past couple of days. A lot of random bursts of rage. Must be the weather. Gonna focus on cleaning up the final draft for this week’s meeting. Ideally I’d like to get it done by tomorrow so that I can get it submitted a day early, but rarely does reality ever abide by my ideals, it seems…
Somehow slept through the entire day. By the time I woke up the sun had already set. I think I’ve slipped into a depressive state. I’d like to get some work done either tonight, or tomorrow. I think I’ll start implementing the field receiver.
Today’s meeting was very productive. I came away from it with a much clearer sense of things to focus on in terms of wrapping up the plots and rebuilding a number of mechanical systems around them. The plan is to get the full outline completely finished by the end of this month, so that come March, I can immediately begin the process of implementation. One plot a month, and then two for clean-up and testing… The path forward grows clearer by the day.
Felt a bit better today after speaking with the doctor. Gonna finish up Avery’s plot tomorrow and get it submitted. I decided to let go of this month’s update after all. It’s unfortunate, but it’s not like anyone really reads them anyways, or that there was much I could really report to begin with. Hopefully next month I’ll have something more substantial.
Woke up terribly late again. Not a great way to start off the week. I think I’ve been feeling rather angry lately, although in a more subdued and concentrated form, resembling something like hatred. Obviously I didn’t get any work done, including anything involving this month’s update. I was supposed to have a meeting this morning but it ended up falling through. I’ll have to get the update written tomorrow before session.
Been feeling pretty fucked up these past two days. I don’t know why, but my head’s filled up with noise again all of a sudden. I wanted to spend the weekend working on stuff for the update, but I wasn’t able to get anything done. Fortunately I have a meeting tomorrow morning to pull me through the beginning of the week, and hopefully give me enough of an impetus to get the update done and out by tomorrow.
Fucking Valentine’s Day…
Woke up real late today, my head felt too mixed up to get anything done. I spent some time looking at floor plans and going over the extant work, but wasn’t able to make any meaningful progress.
Today’s meeting was very productive. I came away from it with a much clearer sense of what I’m going to do with both the plotting and pacing. The part I was struggling with the most – how to onboard the player in a way that simultaneously feels seamless within the fiction, while also serving as an effective introduction to the game itself – has seemingly been resolved almost completely in a way that, in retrospect, feels deceptively obvious.
I’m going to spend tomorrow developing some new content for this month’s update.
Spent the entire day writing, and blocking out environments. It’s starting to come together in a way that I feel could be genuinely interesting, for the first time in a while. Just gotta get through this last bit here. Then things can really get going.
Been a while since I’ve made an update. It’s not that my head isn’t in the “right place” or anything, so to speak; I just haven’t really been making any progress that’s directly quantifiable, I think. Need to start working on something that is pretty soon, for the sake of this month’s update: but overall I’ve slowed down a bit, and am just taking time to really figure things out in terms of the plot and pacing.
And here we are, in February. I’ve spent way much time thinking, I have to get something written and submitted by the end of tomorrow. I don’t know why I always find myself in these kinds of situations, where I leave both myself and others to whose time I’ve been held accountable with such little breathing room to think things through properly. Gotta get better at this…